


Aliens in Ikebukoro

by fangirlingalchemist



Category: Doctor Who (2005), Durarara!!
Genre: Cannon Typical Violence, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Matchmaking, Plot, Slow Burn-ish, Will add or change tags as the story progresses, crossover AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-04-10 01:02:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4371203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirlingalchemist/pseuds/fangirlingalchemist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shizuo never really put much thought into the things he threw at Izaya. Whatever was on hand, whether it be a signpost, a trash bin, or even the occasional vehicle, all that mattered to him was wiping that smug grin off the flea's face. So when he throws something a bit.... out of place, halfway across the city, it barely registers to him. That is until the owner of said thing shows up, with a fiery redhead in tow.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	Aliens in Ikebukoro

**Author's Note:**

  * For [colormesherlocked](https://archiveofourown.org/users/colormesherlocked/gifts).



> Mkay, so I saw this amazing crossover fanart of Shizuo throwing the TARDIS at Izaya and I thought, "I *neeeed* this fic!" Sadly, I find I have to write it myself, and though I'll try to make it good, don't be to rough on me.  
> This'll be my first long fic (I usually do one shots) so, yeah, got my fingers crossed. I hope you guys will enjoy it, and I'll try to update often! :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just an ordinarily bizarre day in the life of one Heiwajima Shizuo
> 
> I'M CURRENTLY BETA'ING/EDITING THIS FIC!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I edited the first two ch and put them together into a Prolouge of sorts?

It was an ordinary day in Ikebukoro, which was to say that, while many of the events transpiring might seem out of place to _non_ residents, the locals have long since accepted them as the norm. Therefore, a dyed-blond man in a bartender outfit throwing a vending machine at a smaller, spry, man in a dark, fur-linked coat, didn't really bring all that much attention to themselves. Well, beyond the dulled human instincts of avoiding danger, that is. In fact, most just continued on with their day, avoiding the occasional debris and hoping, in the back of their minds, that they themselves wouldn't become collateral damage. To those living in Ikebukoro, this was just a day like any other. 

Snarls of rage echoed through the streets as Shizuo reached for nearest object -this time a trash bin- to throw at the man in front of him.  
  
"Flea, what did I say about staying the fuck out of Ikebukoro?!"  
  
His words were more of a threat then an actual question, as his conversations with the flea usually went. Izaya, however, was not one to be threatened.  
  
"Why, Shizu-chan, surely you didn't expect me to just leave you alone? If I did, you might try to pretend to be normal, and that won't do for a creature like you." A smirk settled on his smug face.  
  
"It's my duty to protect my lovely humans, and reminding you of the monster you are is one of the ways I do so." His smirk widened as he pulled out his switchblade, balancing it on his finger momentarily before throwing it towards the blond. "Besides, making Shizu-chan angry is way to much fun." 

Blocking the blade with his hand, Shizuo picked up the bin.  
  
Ignoring his injury, he threw it directly at Izaya, who simply sidestepped it, giggling like a schoolgirl. He took off running once again, sending taunts behind him, "You need to work on your aim, Shizu-chan! That wasn't even close! Is that the best you can do?  
  
Though, for your protozoan brain, it seems even throwing things is becoming too much!" Taking off through the streets, with the Monster of Ikebukoro in pursuit, Izaya laughed delightedly. He never felt more alive then when playing with Shizuo. 

Sending random items hurling towards the shorter man, Shizuo felt his rage increasing, his mantra of "Kill. Kill. Kill." making even the world weary citizens of Ikebukoro take a wide berth.  
  
Seeing a rather large object out if the corner of his eye, he reached for it. He barely noticed its unordinary status, all he felt was the urge to kill Izaya. Throwing the large, blue box, he continued his chase, grabbing a streetlight next to send along with it. 

Caught up in the chase, Izaya barely registered the abnormal object hurled towards him. Focusing solely on avoiding being hit, and sending more creative taunts toward his pursuer, all he thought was _"blue?"_ as the object whirled past him, landing who knows where. It wasn't long after that his phone started to ring.  
  
Taking a perch on a traffic light, he answered the call. "This is Ohrihara-san." Shizuo stormed up, his murderous intent clear on his face. "I-ZA-YA-KUN!!!" 

Making a face, Izaya held up his finger in the universal "just a moment" gesture. Nearly frothing with rage, Shizuo clenched his fists, tapping his foot impatiently as he waited for Izaya to hang up. He _had_ manners, after all.  
  
Eyebrows raising slightly -Shizuo never failed to surprise him- Izaya turned back to his phone, "Yes... I understand....That is an interesting development... That shouldn't be a problem... Understood... Good bye."  
  
Hanging up, he slid his phone back in his pocket, "Sorry, Shizu-chan. I'm afraid I have to cancel our date. You know, things to do and all. Don't be too heartbroken, I'll be back before you know it!" With a cheerful wave, he took off, leaving an extremely furious Shizuo in his wake. 

Things had calmed down by that evening, and Shizuo stopped by Russia-sushi to eat dinner. Conversing easily with Simon, he was waiting for his order when he was interrupted.   
  
A loud ringing sound filled his ears as an odd flashlight looking thing was waved in his direction. Rather taken aback by the both rude and extraordinary gesture, he simply froze. What the hell was Izaya tormenting him with this time?

"Hello! Would you happen to be Heiwajima Shizuo, the "monster of Ikebukoro," by any chance?" 

A frown appearing on his face, he looked up at the speaker. The man was clearly a foreigner, but his Japanese was fluent. He was about as tall as Shizuo, maybe a little taller, with brown hair and a long, brown coat. Altogether too much brown, honestly, except for his red tie and blue suit, but the stranger seemed to pull it off. He seemed almost an enigma, both so ordinary as to avoid notice, but also so extraordinary as to never be forgotten. 

Drawing his rather contradictory conclusion about the man, Shizuo then took note that he had a companion. Said companion was notably shorter, and female, with a shock of red hair that made Shizuo blink. She seemed a bit aggravated, which made him slightly apprehensive, he was never that great around women, not since... But there was _something_ about her that reminded him of Celty and made him feel slightly more at ease. Maybe it was the "don't-mess-with-me" aura she had, coupled with an almost motherly affection. He'd later recognize it as the aura that surrounded people that lived around, or were themselves, extraordinary. Either way, she seemed like one not to mess with, even more so then the man. 

It only took him seconds to observe them, and, satisfied with his conclusions, he nodded in response to the man's previous inquiry. "Yeah, I'm Heiwajima Shizuo. What do you want? If you're from the flea, don't even bother. I've got no time for his shit." Lighting his cigarette in an obvious dismissal, he scowled to himself. Only the flea would send weird foreigners after him. 

Apparently, the man was not one to be deterred and he just sat across from Shizuo, making himself very much at home. "Ah, it's good that we found you! Who knows how long it could've taken us! I don't know any fleas, at least, not in this galaxy. We're here on our own business. I'm the Doctor, by the way, and this is my companion, Donna Noble."

"I can speak for myself, you know, Spaceman. It's nice to meet you, luv." The woman nodded at Shizuo,  sitting next to the Doctor. Shizuo nodded back, mildly amused at the man's rather presumptuous mannerisms, not to mention his ludicrous self proclaimed title. 

He took a long drag of his cigarette, "Doctor, huh? You a friend of Shinra's, then?" He paused, "Naw, he doesn't have friends. Too weird. What business do you have with me?" 

"Well, apparently the property damage kind. Although I'm rather impressed, most humans can't even see my TARDIS, let alone be able to throw her halfway across the city. And my screwdriver says that you are, in fact, mostly human." 

Ignoring the barb at his humanity -he was used to far worse from Izaya- Shizuo turned toward them, "Oh, how much should I pay you? I'm a bit hard on cash, right now, but I'm sure I can pay you back soon."   
  
He swore to himself. He was already behind on down payments for the car he ruined during his last chase with Izaya, and was behind on his rent. He didn't want to make Tom pay for it. He already owed the guy so much, and, of course, there was no _way_ he'd ask his brother. The humiliation would be more than he could take. 

The Doctor quickly allayed his worries, "Oh no, you don't want your money! We don't need it! The TARDIS is already repairing herself. All we need from you is simply a place to stay, while we wait for her to be fixed -and conclude our business- and some information. We should only be in town for a few days, and then we'll be in our way." 

Shizuo thought hard, which was, as a certain informant would say, far too quickly and not enough. He was actually rather relieved not to owe any more money. Having these people stay with him for a while didn't seem too bad, though, he might have to call in sick at work. That caused him to frown, that and the second half of their request. "I'll tell you whatever I can, but I'm not the most informed around." He cringed at the thought, "I'll introduce you to him, but I don't know if he'll want to help you. We don't get along."

"Would that be the flea you mentioned earlier?" It was the woman, Donna, who spoke. 

Shizuo ground his teeth, she seemed as sharp as he thought she'd be, "Yes, and I'd rather not ask him for a favor, but it would seem I have no choice." 

"So you'll be helping us then?" The Doctor seemed far too happy, and something about the way he said it made Shizuo feel like the man knew he'd say yes.  
  
To be honest, he was a little apprehensive, as the Doctor had said a few things that didn't make much sense. But as he was best friends with a headless Dullahan, he really wasn't going to overthink it. He was more than capable of protecting himself, no matter what kind of freak came after him.

"Yeah, you guys can stay at my place. It's small, but it should work, as long as you two don't mind sharing a bed." 

It seems that had been the wrong thing to say, for Donna looked ready to tear him a new one. Shizuo shrunk into his seat, trying not to let his sudden apprehension show. He was never the best at social interaction, with women even less so. Thankfully, the Doctor intervened, "Naw, we'll make do, won't we, Donna?!"

"Oi! Don't talk to me like I'm just some pretty little thing that'll coo for you like a love struck pigeon! I can speak for myself perfectly well!" She turned to Shizuo, pointing her finger briefly, "And you! Insinuating such things! Did your mother never teach you manners?" Her thunderous expression cleared rather suddenly, becoming almost gleeful. Whispering in his direction, she winked at him, "You threw the TARDIS, so I'll forgive you, this once. Honestly, she was rather "getting in the way" of things, you know?" She smiled, getting comfortable in her seat. The Doctor looked chastised beside her. "Now, I'm hungry. What kind of food do they serve in this joint?" 

As if psychically summoned, Simon appeared. "Hello, welcome to Russia-sushi! Shizuo, you have brought friends! You show them the best sushi in Ikebukoro, yes? Not to worry, our chef has made a new recipe! It has no human in it, and is very good. Would you like help with your order? There are many good sushi to eat! But Russia-sushi is the best sushi." 

The Doctor seemed at ease with Simon's unique way of speaking and was able to order as swiftly as the large Russian allowed. Donna took the opportunity to lean forward, beckoning to Shizuo. "Do you know where I can buy kimonos? We haven't been on holiday in a while, and I want to enjoy it." 

Both taken aback and drawn in by her directness, Shizuo found Donna to be entirely likable. "I know some girls who would love to take you. Though, you'd best be prepared for a lot of walking and carrying bags. Outings with them tend to be brutal."

Donna smiled, "Sounds like my type of crowd." The Doctor turned toward them, having finished ordering, sliding his arm around Donna's shoulder, "What are you two gossiping about?" 

"We were comparing our nonexistent sex lives, dear." Shizuo choked on his cigarette, the smoke burning his nose. The Doctor fared no better, having managed to choke on his own saliva. "Donna! And there you were chewing us out for being presumptuous! The man clearly has a healthy sex life! He's incredibly handsome! And our sex life is no business of strangers."

He turned toward Shizuo, who had turned beet red, "I apologize for my companion-"

"Don't apologize for me, I'm not twelve!" Donna looked gleefully apologetic, "Sorry, Shiz, I couldn't resist. I'll try to keep you out of our spats, though, you might do best to just avoid them." 

Shizuo's coloring turned back to normal. Screw reminding him of Celty, Celty was a shy little angel compared to _this_ woman. Wait till Izaya meets her. For once, he was looking forward to seeing the informant; without the usual feeling of a rage-filled murderous intent. He doubted that even that red-eyed psycho could handle Donna. 

"It's fine. I've had worse things said to and about me. It just took me by surprise, that's all."

Simon arrived with their food, and they proceeded to eat. "So, Donna, Doctor, what kind of freak are you?" He saw the surprise on their faces, "What? All the weirdos and monsters come to Ikebukoro, I'm one of them, remember? I doubt your story would surprise me. Come on, tell me from the start." 

The Doctor seemed to light up at the chance to talk, "You're a pretty sharp fellow aren't you?" His face had a cheerful expression, reminding Shizuo of a five year old being allowed a cookie. Did he really enjoy talking that much? "Weeell, you see, I'm a Time Lord."   

By the time the Doctor had finished his story, Shizuo's head was swirling and he was itching for a smoke. "Hey, Imma just step out for a bit? I gotta.... call..." He was out of his seat before the Doctor could even acknowledge his request.

"Huh? You're not going to leave us, are you?" The man -Time Lord- looked about ready to follow him.

Seeing the near panicked expression Shizuo's face, Donna grabbed the Doctor's arm, "Oi, Spaceman! It's _fine_. He just needs time to process things." She winked at him, "I'd be itching for a smoke too, after hearing all that."  
  
She made a shooing motion with her free hand, "Go on, luv. We'll be waiting for you." She glared at him, "So you'd better _not_ ditch us. If you do, know that you'll have abandoned a helpless damsel in a foreign land. I doubt a cupid like you could live with that."

Shizuo, grasped the carton in his breast pocket nervously, this woman was giving him serious whiplash. "Uh, okay," he cleared his throat, "I'll, uh, yeah, I'll be back."

He made his way out of the shop in a bit of a daze, turning toward the alley out of habit. The alley behind Russia-sushi was small and sheltered, granting him a place to smoke without getting caught. Not that there were any police left in this town that were willing to ticket him for smoking outside of the smoking zones. He frowned as he lit his cigarette, taking deep relaxing breaths. He had several calls to make, and he wasn't looking forward to any of them.

He took out his phone, searching for Shinra's number. He was probably the easiest phone call on his list, though it didn't make Shizuo any more willing to dial.  
  
It didn't take that long to locate the doctor's number, as he barely had a dozen contacts and only regularly called four of them. Well, it's not like he had that much storage on his phone anyways. It was a cheap flip-phone, which was fine with him. He was prone to breaking his phones in a fit of rage, so having cheap, easily replaceable ones and few contacts made it easier for him. Of course, he scowled at the device in his hand, I'd be even easier if a certain flea would stop finding his number and calling him all hours of the day. But then, the flea seemed to live only to torment him.

A faint cracking sound had him blinking, "Damn it!"  
  
The phone was cracked slightly, but then, just thinking of the flea usually resulted in property damage of some kind. He sighed with relief that the phone was still relatively undamaged. He pressed the dial button, holding the phone up to his ear and he took a drag from his almost forgotten cigarette. 

Shinra picked up at the third ring, "Shizuo! You aren't hurt again are you? Because, if so, I'm on my way."

Shizuo chuckled. Shinra, despite his quirkiness, was a pretty okay guy, and really good friend. Him being a doctor willing to patch him up after his many brawls was also pretty useful. The local hospitals had long since refused to admit him, after a certain incident with a certain _flea_ \- he took two deep breaths. "Naw, I'm good, Shinra. I just got a little favor to ask of you."

He took a last, long drag from his cigarette, stubbing it out on the floor. He sighed deeply, this was going to be one hell of a favor.  
  
He could feel a headache coming on as he said, "I have an alien asking me to bunk him and his human companion for the week while their time traveling spaceship fixes itself from when I threw it at the fleabag this morning and I want you to run some scans on them." He was slightly out of breath when he had finished, reaching to light another cigarette. He really should quit sometime, but the flea had him to stressed out to even think about it.  
  
His phone squeaked a bit as the plastic and glass cracked further. Deep breaths. He lit his second cigarette, trying to savor it.

The silence on the other end of the phone was almost tangible, "Wow, that's quite the story... Are you sure, Shizuo? Not that I think you'd make this up, but you are easily fooled..."

Shizuo huffed in annoyance, he knew he wasn't the sharpest blade in the armory, but he still didn't appreciate Shinra's tone of voice. However, as it was nothing compared to a certain _someone's_ taunts, he let it slide. After all, he'd heard worse his whole life and Shinra always _meant_ well. "Yes, Shinra, aliens. Well, that's their story anyway. I'm, apparently, stuck with them, for now, and would like you to look them over. If you believe me, that is." 

Shinra's excited voice rang across the phone, making Shuzuo wince. "Of course I believe you! I'm on my way to your place right now! This is incredible! I mean, the possibility of aliens....." Shizuo tuned him out. He was a simple man, so most of what Shinra said flew over his head. He'd learned not to even bother trying. That and Shinra having implied that he was either lying or a simpleton made him want to ignore his well meaning friend.. He rubbed his head gingerly, the headache he had started to feel previously was now catching up to him. Shinra's excited babbling about... wormholes? Star Trek? Who knows? Either way, it wasn't helping at all.

Faint rustling heard on the other end of the line reassured Shizuo, more than words, that Shinra was _actually_ doing something. That something might be dragging him to an asylum, but he knew that Celty would give him the benefit of the doubt. He frowned, speaking of the transporter, "Hey, Doc? Is Celty there?" 

As always, the mere mention of the Dullahan had Shinra distracted, "Celty? You're not trying to steal away my lovely fiance, are you Shizuo?" Shinra's laugh made Shizuo smile, that lovesick idiot. "She's on her way back. Izaya had a job for her, so it'll be a while before we-"

The connection cut with a fizzing sound. It took Shizuo a few moments to realize that the reason was because he had crushed his phone. He stared, transfixed at the broken mass of plastic and wire in his hand. Throwing it across the alley, he scowled, watching it shatter against the wall. 

"Damned flea. That's the third phone this month." 

***

Somehow, Shizuo managed to bring his new guests to his apartment without much incident. In his book, that meant only mild threats of bodily harm from Simon if he failed to bring his "wonderful guests" over again soon.  
  
It seemed that the Doctor could speak fluent Russian, which was, apparently, all one needed to do to get in the tall man's favor. Donna became his new favorite simply out of principal, being a fiery spirit and all. Well, that her being able to eat _twice_ her weight in dubiously named sushi platters.

Walking down the street provided no unusual interruptions, as the mere sight of Shizuo tended to clear a path in Ikebukuro's busy streets. While Donna's face clearly showed some curiosity about the whole situation, she seemed to understand his desire to get home quickly. A sympathetic soul, to his clearly hurried state, he was immensely grateful that she didn't try any probing. Oh god. Aliens. Probing. 

He couldn't contain his slight shudder and smirked at the thought. Out of the two, he's more terrified of the human than the actual alien. Figures.

He opened his apartment door to be immediately jumped by an enthusiastic Shinra. Well, not jumped per say, as the shorter man had, in fact, barreled past him, to "oh and ah" over a very flattered looking Doctor and a less flattered looking Donna. 

Somehow, in the confusion, introductions were made and Shizuo was able to leave his two guests in Shinra's overly excited hands. Sneaking out to the balcony, he pulled out his spare phone and dialed.

They picked up on the second ring, "Shizuo-niichan! Are you finally going to let us marry your beautiful brother!?"

Shizuo huffed affectionately. For all his loathing of the flea, his younger twin sisters somehow had wormed their way into his good graces. Maybe because of their obsession with his brother, which, while possibly _very_ creepy, endeared them to him in the typical "you like my brother, you can't be that bad, let's bond over the object of our affections" way. That, and their general "younger sister charm" which was just on the right side of clingy.

"No, you cannot marry my beautiful brother. I'm calling to do you two a favor. And I'll need one in return."

"Yahuh, we're listening." 

"I am currently housing a terrifying woman who would like to go sightseeing. You like shopping with scary women, right?" 

A hum on the other side of the line let him know he got it right. "So, in return for your fun, I'm gonna need to meet with-" 

"Iza-ni. We got it. But what's our tie breaker? It won't be easy to get our Nii-chan to have a civil conversation with you." He couldn't tell which one was talking, he never could. "How about you let us know why you, of all people, want to talk with Iza-ni? You gonna confess? Oooh! How sweet of you! Or are you gonna kill him, finally? We wouldn't mind, you know. Or better yet...." Their joint voices echoed over the phone, "Angry sex!" 

The line went dead. Shizuo cursed the shattered phone in his hand.

***

Izaya was sitting at his desk when his phone rang. He knew by the custom ringtone who it was. He contemplated answering.

He wasn't on the best grounds with his younger siblings. They only ever called when they wanted something, and he never seemed to get anything from it. Which was annoying on multiple levels. That, and their current hobby of befriending a certain Shizuo Heiwajima made him less than enthusiastic to pick up the phone.

Izaya could never fathom why his sisters favored the protozoan over their own flesh and blood. If he wasn't above feeble human emotions, he would be hurt, but it took more than a child's game of favorites to bring down a god. He took some satisfaction in knowing that they were just as demonically manipulative as he was and Shizuo was as gullible as they come. Their inevitable betrayal of the beast, once they'd acquired his brother -which was clearly their only objective- would be priceless to witness. 

After all, the only _possible_ reason to befriend the blond monster would be to get close to his far superior brother. Izaya would be lying if he said that he hadn't thought about playing more _thoroughly_ with the attractive popstar. It would've definitely gotten a fun reaction out of his overly protective brother. The man clearly had a brother complex. His sisters, however, made it clear that the younger Heiwajima was off limits and he, valuing his index finger, agreed to their claim. 

So, in general, the Orihara siblings avoid each other. He supports them financially, and they don't ruin his life as much as they could. After all, it's hard to keep up a healthy, "family" relationship when one could read, as clear as day, their own selves reflected in the others. Well, that and the obvious nature of his sisters' less than... _acceptable_ relationship. Not that he was one to talk, they were still holding the ..... over his head. But what could he say? A good lay was a good lay, all humans were equal in that regard. 

Except his monster. He had seemed determined to stay a virgin, which Izaya would not tolerate. How dare that monster try and play the celibate saint? Deny his true nature as a beast? He is clearly unfit to walk among Izaya's lovely humans. 

So he hired a hooker to seduce the creature and pop his cherry. The look of betrayal when the truth was revealed still made Izaya smirk, all these years later. It was one of his finest achievements regarding that thing. Though even then, he defied Izaya's expectations. The footage, which he had used as blackmail till it got boring, showed Shizuo to be not only a gentle lover, but a damn good one as well. That is, if the whore's reports were anything to go by.

He's seen the footage enough times to know, though, that she was telling the truth. The way he carefully lifted her delicate frame, his thrusts deep, but ever careful, careful. His soft grunts and moans as his fingers glided over frail bones, never breaking, never bruising. 

It pissed the informant off to see him so obviously hold back. The tension in his back as he kept himself from pounding into the body beneath him. The shudder in his breath as he kept himself from holding the girl till she broke. 

He blinked. He was obsessing again. He scowled and picked up the phone.

cheerful expression, reminding Shizuo of a five year old being allowed a cookie. Did he really enjoy talking that much? "Weeell, you see, I'm a Time Lord."   

 

**Author's Note:**

> Well, so that's that. Sorry for any OOC moments, I don't know if I'll fix/change anything, as I'm lazy, but feedback is still appreciated. Let me know what you guys think in the comments. I'll try to write/post the next chapter soon :)


End file.
